Dating and Marriage customs in Northern India - Date Culture
Transcript of COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE IN THE INDIAN CULTURE. Background photo by Family is very important role in the tradition. Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent is a tradition in the societies of the Indian .. courtship, between the man and woman follows. Though dating may not be socially permissible, nonetheless the couple may talk over the phone. India has much diversity in terms of cultures and religions. Dating habits differ widely in all these areas. People in North India, spanning from.
Dowry is illegal, but still it continues unabated. It is insulting for a boy to get a bride without a dowry, and even today, on and off one can hear instances that a new bride is burned alive because of insufficient dowry. Almost as a rule, while it is desirable for a boy to be a virgin at the time of marriage, a girl must be a virgin.
This term comes from ancient times where a common form of punishment was to blacken the face of guilty and take him around the village riding on back of a donkey. Therefore, while raising a girl, the family takes all possible precautions to keep the girl under watch.
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A girl usually takes her mom into confidence before and during dating. Going to bed, before marriage even if marriage is announcedis a big no-no.
A child born before nine months of marriage is hot and spicy news. People in a town will keep the event in active memory for almost a lifetime. Boys would generally like to be seen around with a girl while girls prefer silent and isolated places which offer some privacy.
A couple can move together in Cinemas, discos, parks or anywhere but the girl must be back at home before sunset.
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A drinking or smoking girl is looked on as being easy available. Invariably many heads would turn towards a drinking or smoking girl, that is if you are able to spot one. In movies here, how do you conclude about character of a girl? A heroine would never be drinking or smoking and a villain probably would either be carrying a drink or shown smoking.
Therefore, the girl usually will not be better qualified or earning more than the boy. This region is one of the most color conscious areas in the world and girl must be fair complexioned. For boys, probably the first factor in mind is skin color.
People here have various complexions ranging from a dark tanned one to a fair pinkish glow.
If a girl is fair skinned than many traits such as a poor dowry would take a backseat. Among the salaried class, the choice of which girl to dated comes to who earns better. Boys in business generally look for a date that is beautiful, preferably from the same community and someone who would be happy sitting at home and not working. This weighs heavily during dating. Both have to be dressed smartly and especially the boy, has to flaunt his material possessions car, mobile or other gadgets.
The Culture of Arranged Marriages in India
Expensive cars and the latest mobile gadgets are ultimate symbols of prosperity. A Boy is expected to give expensive gifts to the girl during dating.
It is an insult for a girl when she is not able to flaunt the gifts among her friends. Boys are expected to be macho, and able to save a sweetheart single handedly from any untoward incident.
This continues, for around a month, and then the next ceremony is announced. Sometime dating continues until the boy is successful enough to marry. The time from Roka to marriage must not be longer than around 9 months maximum and rarely would exceed a year.
This is because if during dating, the pair breaks up, it would be difficult to get another match for the girl. This is part of the dowry. History[ edit ] The Indian subcontinent has historically been home to a wide variety of wedding systems.
Some were unique to the region, such as Swayamvara which was rooted in the historical Vedic religion and had a strong hold in popular culture because it was the procedure used by Rama and Sita.
In a swayamvara, the girl's parents broadcast the intent of the girl to marry and invited all interested men to be present in a wedding hall on a specific date and time.
Sometimes the father of the bride would arrange for a competition among the suitors, such as a feat of strength, to help in the selection process. The marriage of Dushyanta and Shakuntala was an example of this marriage. Manu and others attacked the Gandharva and other similar systems, decrying them as holdouts "from the time of promiscuity " which, at best, were only suitable for small sections of society.
This emergence of early arranged marriages in the Indian subcontinent was consistent with similar developments elsewhere, such as Indonesiavarious Muslim regions and South Pacific societies.
Where specific alliances were socially preferred, often an informal right of first refusal was presumed to exist. For instance, marriages between cousins is permissible in Islam though not in most Hindu communitiesand the girl's mother's sister or khala was considered to have the first right pehla haq to "claim" the girl as for her son the khalazad bhai. Where potential spouses for sons and daughters were once identified through family and social relationships, they are increasingly being solicited through advertising because many urban parents no longer have the social reach that was a given before the rise of nuclear families in India.
Since arranged marriages result in a deep meshing and unification of extended families and are believed to contribute to marital stability, many couples orchestrate their marriages with each other through the processes of an arranged marriage. These marriages are often referred to as "self-arranged marriages" or "love-arranged marriages" in India. The marriage process usually begin with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry.
For a girl, it is during her graduation or early twenties; for a boy, it is after he is 'settled', with a decent job and consistent earnings. Finding a match is easier than finding a parking space, Chennai, India. If no such person exists, the sponsor begins the process of identifying suitable candidates. This is usually done via an intermediary matchmaker who has a social reputation for maintaining discretion and brokering successful weddings.
Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent
The matchmaker is often an elderly socialite who is liked and widely connected to many families. For instance, in many parts of North India and Pakistan, the local barber or nai was a frequent go-between.
These considerations vary but can include Religion: Marriages are usually arranged between individuals belonging to the same religion. Same-religion marriages are the norm in arranged marriages among higher caste people.